Selective Mutism
Some children are naturally quieter and present in a similar way at home and in other environments. Others may be shy initially when they meet new people or are in new environments. A small number of children experience more persistent difficulties talking in certain situations or with certain people. This may be described as Selective Mutism. Such children typically have lots to say; they can and want to talk but feel unable to in certain situations. This can cause feelings of anxiety or panic and may trigger a freeze response.
There are lots of ways you can support children to become more confident communicators. You can support children to feel more comfortable by creating a positive and supportive environment, building positive self-esteem and providing opportunities to join in in a fun way without any pressure to talk.
How you can help:
- Be positive and encouraging. Reassure your child that it’s ok to have fun and join in, and that it’s ok not to talk right away.
- Reduce the pressure to speak. Don’t try to persuade, bribe or challenge your child to speak.
- Accept all forms of communication. Respond to any form of communication your child is comfortable using (including gestures such as showing, pointing, nodding, etc.).
- Try to reduce the number of direct questions you ask. Make comments that invite rather than demand a response, using phrases such as ‘I wonder…’ (e.g. ‘What a beautiful picture! I wonder if you’ve drawn Mummy…or maybe it’s Daddy…’).
- Leave pauses but if your child does not respond, or shows any signs of tension or anxiety, move on in a positive way and continue to use commentary style chat (e.g. ‘You’ve used lots of lovely colours. I love drawing’).
- Focus on creating a positive, relaxed environment to develop your child’s trust.
- Help your child to feel successful and valued regardless of whether they speak or not. Build your child’s confidence by focusing on their achievements, interests and strengths.
- When your child does talk, do not make it a big deal. Respond warmly and naturally as you would with any child.
- Provide opportunities to take part in fun, physical activities which do not require talking but involve children moving or making noise in unison.
- Keep busy. Do not avoid situations but help your child to take part in a manageable way. Let your child know what is happening to prepare them for new events or situations.
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